Expat Coach Takeaways from Michael Singer's Book The Surrender Experiment
Just one chapter into this wonderful book, and I could see clearly how well it aligned with aspects of my coaching philosophy.
I wanted to share with you a few powerful quotes from the book, as well as my three biggest takeaways from a coaching standpoint:
1. Resisting life causes us pain
In the book...
Michael gives countless examples over decades of what happened when he allowed life to flow. He described feeling uncomfortable with something, and would watch as his mind tried to resist it.
But he was committed to not letting that little voice of the mind run the show. Every time he surrendered to something that his mind wanted to label as "bad," life showed him that there was purpose in everything.
”It seems as though life knew exactly what it was doing, and as usual, my mind knew nothing.” (p.100)
Many of my clients come to me because things in their life are causing them pain. They are having problems in a relationship, or at work, or with their health.
They are resistant to what life has given them, and we work together to get clarity and understanding of what's going on in their mind.
It is almost always their thoughts that are causing them pain, and recognizing that on a deep level, they are able to shift their thinking in a way that starts to serve them better.
2. Everything happens for me, not to me
aka "This Is Reality - Deal with It" (p. 241)
In the book...
Michael finds himself in situations that test his commitment to surrendering to life. At one point, his company is raided by the FBI and a major trial is set into motion.
He describes how he was able to remain calm and in flow through even the most uncertain and trying times - by firmly believing that everything in his life was happening exactly as it should.
“When life’s way becomes your way, all the noise stops, and there is a great peace.” (p. 252)
I work with many clients who are processing pain from their past. One of the first things we do is work to understand that how they are perceiving their past is causing them pain in the present.
Through examining the story they are telling themselves, we work to search for ways we can tell it in a more neutral or positive way.
I ask them to consider: How did this serve me? How did it happen for me? Why was it exactly what should have happened? How can I tell this story in a different way that feels better?
3. Preferences don't need to dictate our lives
In the book...
Michael noticed early on in life that his mind wanted to put labels and preferences on everything - "I like that" "I don't like that" and that this chatter was incessant and unhelpful.
He was able to see that this ongoing dialogue was really about control. His mind desperately wanted to control everyone and everything in his life, so he committed to stop listening to all of it and accept the flow of life.
"I could see that the practice of surrender was actually done in two, very distinct steps: first, you let go of the personal reactions of like and dislike that form inside your mind and heart; and second, with the resultant sense of clarity, you simple look to see what is being asked of you by the situation unfolding in front of you.” (p. 65)
Many of my clients come with fixed ideas of who they are and what they want and don't want, what they like and don't like. They are trying, as all of us do, to control the world around them in hopes of feeling better.
We work together to clear the mind, to open it to the possibilities of a life they dream of. When you are not as worried about everything going around you, you create space to ask - What do I really want? What is life giving me now that is exactly what I need to move forward?
Working with me can help!
To learn more about how you can let go of your past and rewire your brain to get the results you want in your life, book a free discovery session with me. We work together to get clear about what you really want, determine what is holding you back, and identify powerful actions you can take to create your best life abroad. Book here: https://calendly.com/jenknight/free-session
Hi, I'm Jen! I am a US expat currently living in Thailand with my wonderful husband.
I always strive to learn, grow, and be the best version of myself, and I'm so grateful I get to spend my days working with amazing expat women like you:
Women who are smart and want to reach their goals, but need help overcoming stress, overwhelm, and other obstacles so they can create their best lives abroad.